Everyone’s Got An Opinion
Once you get engaged and release the best news to the very important people of your lives, you will 100% walk into opinions. Opinions that may be both good and bad, opinions from professionals, opinions from friends who have gotten married, and of course the most challenging out of all opinions… the opinions from parents or family members who are chipping in and investing into your wedding day. Once a family member offers or puts some money towards your wedding, you face an issue with power dynamics. Your parents or in-laws are giving you a wonderful gift and gesture, but in reality, they are expecting you to strongly work off of their ideas and rules.
Ask, Don’t Tell
When this instance may occur, it is important for you to remember the basic saying which is, “ask, don’t tell”. This expression leaves you room to revisit the topic, and be open and honest with your family. By normalizing talking about this costly affair, you are showing the other person that you aren’t dismissing their feelings or suggestions. With being open, you are reaching a satisfying agreement for both parties. Once the couple announces their engagement and starts to hear opinions galore, you can shift the conversation to the back burner by stating something along the lines of thanking them dearly, but firmly letting them know that they’d like to take this time to celebrate and would like to focus on the logistics at a later given point.
Keeping the Peace
Saying something like this is crucial to try and do because when you are still in the early stages of getting engaged, you want to cherish that time and celebrate that. Overall, when taking in opinions from family member contributors, communication is key. Remember that not only are emotions involved, but beneficial contributions are too. So with that being said, try to sit down with your family early on during the wedding process and go over all details necessary to keep the peace.